Social Media Isn’t Toxic. You Are!

Oh, it's a sad time to be alive as a human. We have information coming at us from every angle, every way it can come at you. And most of it is negative... Why? Because that is the way people keep coming back. It's like looking at an accident - people can't help themselves.

But everyone loves blaming social media. The apps, the algorithm, the “environment.” It’s always something external, something out of their control. But at some point, you have to admit what’s actually happening. It’s not the app dragging your ass back. It’s you opening it again. And again. And again. Refreshing the same feed 47 times a day and calling it “just checking something.”

The truth is uncomfortable because it’s simple. Social media doesn’t force anything on you. It responds. It gives you more of whatever you react to. You pause on outrage; it gives you more outrage. You compare yourself to strangers, it lines up more strangers. It’s not random. It’s a mirror that keeps adjusting to whatever you feed it.

And you keep feeding it.

That’s the part no one wants to sit with. It’s easier to say the platform is toxic than to admit you keep going back to things that make you feel worse. You engage with it, you react to it, and then you complain about how bad it is, like you weren’t part of the process.

You weren’t trapped.

You were involved.

People act like they’ve lost control, but most of the time it’s just habit dressed up as helplessness. You pick it up without thinking, scroll without noticing, and then wonder why you feel flat, irritated, or slightly off. It’s not complicated. You’ve spent the last half hour consuming things designed to get a reaction out of you.

Of course you feel like that.

And then comes the best part. Closing the app and saying, “God, that place is toxic,” as if you weren’t just actively participating in it five seconds ago. Even though you had to scroll at the dining table instead of talking to your partner. How many times have you been to a restaurant and watched people on their phones? Not speaking.

Social media isn’t the problem. It’s just very good at giving you what you respond to. The more honest question is why you keep responding to the same things and expecting a different result.

That’s where it gets a bit uncomfortable.

Because at some point, your feed starts to look a lot like you.

Not who you think you are.

Who you actually engage like.

And that’s harder to blame on an algorithm.