DO YOU WANT TO SORT THIS OUT IN COURT?

Okay…  To tell the truth, I wasn’t actually sure what the hell the reference to court and sorting was about.  I’ll admit that.  I mean the Squeeze went off to take the Kid out for dinner and I’m home alone; so figured I’d blog.  Where else am I going to get “blog fodder” from if I can cut and paste her usual illiterate rants..?

So I jumped on the Squeeze’s computer to see exactly what drivel she had written as a demand this time – and I wasn’t disappointed.

In short, the highlights of the too and from were:

1. First we had her usual fourteen year old tantrum of “aren’t you allowed to have him for a week?”
2. Then, it would appear that she has organised the kid to go across town to her velvet wearing sister’s place on our Friday night and the Squeeze dared to mention that this was in fact, our weekend.
3. Then it was telling him that we would have the kid for a week while she is away.  Not can we.  But we will.
4. Then it was alluding to his utter selfishness; because we went to Greece for a month without telling her.  And it is always about us.  Unlike her, her 'everything' is about the kid.
5. Then it was the court line; all in red capitals – which you just know is yelling.

Well I have to say that it took every ounce of my will not to hit reply and call and spade a spade…

These are my wishful answers to the witch:

1. Yes.  He is allowed to have him for a week.  At your place, not mine.  I have plans that week and have already scheduled time off.  Plans… yes I know the word is alien to you, but some of us make them.  And my plans do not include having your kid just because you demand it.  Perhaps things would go a little more smoothly if you stayed home every so often to do a load of fricking washing instead of sending him out in clothes that could stand up on their own.  Sorry, but I don’t want to gag in my own home – and I’m sure as hell not doing it for a week.
2. We are fine with the Kid going off to your velvet wearing sister and her "you are perfect” brats.  Last time the younger one stole $50 from him which was infinitely better than the one I once heard being cruel and sarcastic to him - which earned him my never ending loathing.  Fine with him going.  Having said that, you can have him dropped off at our home the next morning, since you have organised it.
3. See answer 1 but add a whole other layer on top of it.  The layer of dislike.  In case you missed it, I don't like you.  You are a greedy, selfish, lying, vitriolic bitch – so I'd rather let scorpions have free rein on my head than assist you in any way.



4. For the last time; it doesn't matter how many times you say it - history does not change.  You can't will it to alter.  There is no "mind control" at work here.  You don't have super powers idiot!  That said, we went to Greece for 3 weeks - not 4 or 5 weeks.  You had plenty of notice.  We have been together for 3+ years and that 3 weeks was the first time we had been away on our own.  The Earth didn’t stop turning; no one died.  And maybe we should clarify a few things...  I mean you went away with the kid for longer than that at Christmas – without consultation.  Then extended it to take in Bali – with no consultation.  How come he can so easily survive without dad then..?
5. Do I want to see it in court..?  Oh God.  Yes please.  Bring it.  BRING IT!  I raised 2 children without one weekend off from my ex-husband who lived interstate!  I got $60 per month for 16 years.  The first 2 years I got the princely sum of $25.  And yes, that was through the legal process!  You have no freaking idea how good you have it!  And out of curiosity, what do you think a judge is going to do..?  Tell us that we must have the kid any time you decree it?  Like we have no say over our lives and home??  And while there, maybe we’ll mention the fact that the Squeeze pays above and beyond in maintenance.  And that he pays school fees and music and sport on top of that; but that didn't stop you changing his school without ANY DISCUSSION!   And then we’ll add to that the fact that you moved houses – WITHOUT ANY DISCUSSION – and then instructed the kids to LIE to their father; that they weren’t allowed to tell him where they lived!   And maybe then we’ll tell him how the kid gets sick and you refuse to allow him to have antibiotics.  That you let him limp around with a toe so badly infected I’m surprised it wasn’t gangrenous!   And then we’ll tell the truth; how on average, the Squeeze see’s the kid at least 2 times a week and what he gets for that is rants and abuse and threats – continuously!  And the final comment will be how you earn the same as he, yet rent out a house and an apartment – not pausing to pay tax I’m sure – and yet you are on his case all the time for MORE!  Like the selfish greedy cow that you are!

Hmm.  Yep.  Lucky I’m not answering the email for him.

Rules of Engagement

It seems that he Squeeze just doesn’t quite get things on the initial take; or the four or five times after that either…

After our blow up the other week (and his minor tantrum of moving out) we discussed, negotiated, did a little more talking and then I typed up the “rules of engagement” (actually, I called it the “Harmony Convention” because without rules there is no damned harmony!)

Our first test of the water was on Sunday…  How did we go..?  Fail.   The Harridan can’t work a calendar; nor could she organise a beer in a brewery it would seem.  When mix-ups are proven to be attributed to her; she reverts to lies, threats and insults.

So the washout was that the Squeeze was off gadding about with the Kid all Sunday on a “Harrdan” weekend and then instead of giving me a ‘risky business’ moment on Sunday night by staying in the slovenly house; he returned, shaking his head amid the confusion of the Harridan telling him “don’t enter my house!!”

Then last night I get “the Harridan wants us to have the kid for a week in November.

WTF?  Please note: it is not an emergency, nor is it school holidays – so the rules of engagement are on the Harmony Convention.

So yeah.  Sure.  She’s given notice, now he has to either put in for the week off and find a place to take the kid camping; or alternatively – stay at the Harridan’s house (given the last attempt at this, I don’t see that boding well for him). 

Of course if she is talking about the first week in November she’s out of luck anyhow since I’d already talked about us taking my new car for a couple of nights down the coast!

Exploding Head

Tonight while google-ing and contemplating what picture would do my blog topic justice, I came across an interesting blog on a trifecta.  No…  It wasn’t about racing.  It was about a three way relationship and the love and pitfalls that would appear to be inherent with such a thing.

Personally, I can’t see the appeal.  There is always ‘one’ going to feel pain.  It’s like an episode of “Big Love” – Wife 2 and 3 bitch and whine because Wife 1 has all the power.  She is the first wife.  She has the ring, the security…  Hell, it would suck to be anyone other than Wife 1.

Anyhow, what I was searching for in Google images was an “exploding head”…  Perhaps that I found it on the big love blog (not that it was called that…) is an indication of how that is working out for them.

But back to my issues…

Weirdly, I was kind of looking forward to a night on my own.

That isn’t anything against or about the Squeeze; I love him, love being with him.  It’s just that sometimes silence really is delicious; and I can crave it as much as chocolate.  I don’t necessarily have to stuff my face with it; sometimes just a rhapsodic nibble soothes the savage beast.

A lot of planning goes in to a night away.  Anyone reading this who has browsed more than one or two entries on this blog will understand when I say “a lot of planning”, I am without doubt meaning that I am the planner.  So I've had a fair amount of scheduling and just a tiny little dash of concern to deal with.

Planning…  My new car is on order so I’m carless.  As a general rule, come 9pm, one of us will pick up my daughter from work and deposit her at her home.  This is not for her; this is for me.  I can’t stand the stress and worry of thinking about her catching a tram, then a brief walk, then a train, then a brief walk home late on a Sunday night.  This is made worse considering her part time job is in a creepy, loony place where God knows what could follow her home.  To combat this, I booked her a cab online and gave her the money to pay for it.  Yeah.  I know.  She gets four hours minimum wage; costs me sixty bucks.  I may as well have just paid her; but it’s worth it to me to know she’s safe.

Then we had organised that I would have the car tomorrow as I have to leave work early and go to an appointment.  That meant he would have to get up early, come home and get me, where upon I would take him to work, push him out of the car and then slink off to my work.

Suffice to say there has been much discussion to coordinate this – all because the Harridan is up to something and is fobbing the kid off repeatedly.  Still, we kind of managed it.  We were on a path to having it organised.  All the planets aligned…

I had even dealt with the tiny glimmer of unease that my suggestion had been taken on board so effortlessly.  In the end, I figured that my unease was in wondering if I 'should' feel unease.  And in the end, I decided I didn't.  Hell, one cold night in a dirty house should reinforce how nice our home is, so it could really only benefit our relationship.

Then the bitch threw everything to the wind by sending the Squeeze one of her usual, psychotic texts…  'Wot time getting kid And defintely no going into hme' he replied to say "I was under the impression that I was staying the night here with him..." which had her rewriting history again.

To be honest, I figured she would toss a wild card at us but I figured it would be along the lines of not giving the kid a key to the house so forcing our hand to have him here.  In the end, this was the lesser of two evils.  

What planet is this person on; and how do you deal with the insane…?  

 She seriously makes my head explode.

Sleeping at the Hovel

Today I am enjoying the blissful silence of a sparkling clean house and not another person in sight…  No internet; no whining; no noise…  Nada.

As part of our ‘negotiation, the Squeeze picked up Kid 3 and we went out for breakfast to do the family thing.  At the conclusion of this, he and the Kid slunk off to the hovel that is the Harridan’s side of town.  As agreed, he is prepared to look after the kid – but at her house – not mine.

The silence is almost delicious.

I’m going to enjoy seeing how this goes; given that the Squeeze is now a couple of years in to living in a house that is 99% of the time, sparkling…  It doesn’t stink, things are put away, dishes and washing, done. 

And now he’ll be spending the night in clean freak hell – where I’m sure just the stench of it is gag worthy – like my spare room on occasion!  Perhaps he can spend the time doing washing!

I haven’t even put music on.  I’m just enjoying the silence.

You can’t rewrite history for the organised….

This morning I got up and decided that I’d have a look through the calendar/email and see exactly how many times we have had the kid; rather than just run with her "seen him once in 6 weeks" delusional calendar.

The Squeeze is totally disorganised, always has been; so I’ve no doubt that it used to work.  So lacking is he in order or methodical arrangement that he literally handed her his head on a platter.

But hell, don’t even attempt to rewrite history with me – because I’m super organised and I’ll call her on it every time, with dates, emails, phone calls and texts to back it up.

So this morning I sit and work out exactly how many times the Squeeze has seen Kid 3 over the last 6 weeks…

• Wednesday and Thursday night prior to going to Greece, he stayed with us.

• We took him to dinner 3 days after we got home.

• He stayed the Friday and Saturday night the first weekend we were home.

• He was supposed to stay the next Friday and Saturday night but she fobbed us off.

• The Squeeze asked to pick him up and do dinner and a movie last week, but she vetoed it.

• He took him to cricket on Sunday.

• And... he has already arranged to take him to dinner and a movie on Monday night.

So; in what world does that equate to once in 6 weeks???

As for the "fluid kid weekends" before - what changed...”

What changed is that he got a life.  By "fluid", she means that she dictated and he jumped to attention.  She effectively had someone to have the kid whenever she desired; in fact when we started to go out together, her sister was doing the same thing! 

Does the Harridan really think that my life, children and family doesn't enter into the equation now...?

Excuse me... but it's my kid’s birthday - mine have them too.  I don't do "fluid".  I plan in advance according to the calendar.  And I am not changing my plans just because she is incapable of buying herself a damned calendar.